“I Meant To” – Words I Never Want to Say or Hear Again

Sometimes something happens that sticks with you long after, and changes how you think forever.

This one hit me in late 2020 and early 2021.

My uncle, who lived in another town, called me three days before Christmas to say he’d been given four weeks to live. That was a hell of a blow. I flew up to see him, spoke with the doctors, and we made a plan. He had a blood clot that had cut off the blood flow to his lower body, made worse by years in a wheelchair. There was nothing more they could do.

I spent time with him, came home for Christmas, went back up, came home for New Year’s, then headed up again in early January once he was out of hospital. I helped clear out his house and looked after him as he prepared to die.

He was a hoarder of car parts, so I did a lot of heavy lifting — throwing metal into three massive skips.

During that month, I’d come across interesting items from his life. We’d talk about them and reminisce, which was nice. But more than a few times I’d find something cool — like the detailed plans for a lift jig that would let him get back into truck driving from his wheelchair. When I asked about it, he’d say, “Yeah, I meant to do something about that…” but never did, because it would have been difficult.

That phrase came up multiple times.

He passed away late January (the stubborn bugger made it six weeks, not four). Once I’d sorted the estate, those words really hit me. He was an amazing man who did a lot of good things, and I cherish his memory. But he had let his difficulties get in the way of opportunities he wanted to chase.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to roll a truck, break your back, and end up in a wheelchair. But I know plenty of people have achieved a lot from even tougher starting points.

So I made a quiet resolution: I never want to look back and say “I meant to.” I will either do it, or consciously decide not to. Life is full of trade-offs. Choosing to do one thing means choosing not to do something else — and that’s fine. But doing nothing and hiding behind “I meant to” is still a decision.

This is easier said than done, of course. That’s why I have coaches and systems in place to turn this into routine, not just hope.

What’s holding you back from the things you want to do? What have you been telling yourself you “meant to” do?

I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I’m behind on some of my own goals and mission. But if I fail, it won’t be because I “meant to…”